Every year, adult children visit their aging parents and make a startling discovery. Mom or dad aren’t doing as well as you thought. You know they need help but you’re not sure where to begin or how to talk about it.
In-home care starts with a conversation. But it isn’t always easy. Here are five principles to keep in mind as you approach this delicate subject.
1. KNOW THE OPTIONS
Do you know the difference between homemaker/companion services and personal care? Do you understand the difference between 24/7 care and live-in care? Have you investigated which services are available in your area? Here’s a primer:
- Homemaker/Companion Services – This is when someone visits regularly to provide meaningful engagement with an aging senior, meal preparation, light housekeeping, and transportation
- Personal Care – This refers to various levels on hands-on assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs) including transfers, bathing, grooming, dressing, and toileting.
- 24/7 Care – Means there is a caregiver in your loved one’s residence at all times, awake, alert, and ready to assist at a moment’s notice.
- Live-in Care – Live-in caregivers literally live in the home. They are available to help mom or dad 16 hours a day while having 8 hours a day to rest and sleep.
You don’t have to spill everything you know during the conversation with your loved one, but at least you’ll have the knowledge you need to take the next steps afterwards.
Ovation Home Care is a private duty home health care agency based in Gainesville, FL. Our CNAs and home health aides serve clients right where they live—so that they can keep living there. Services may include personal care and homemaker/companion services anywhere from 4 hours per day 5 days per week to 24/7 or live-in. It’s the kind of help many seniors need in order to age in place safely.
2. PROBLEMS CAN BE A PROBLEM
You know there are safety issues. You know there are risks. But the more you bring them up, the more your loved one is likely to become defensive or shut down.
Instead of focusing on the problems you see, share with your loved one how things are affecting you. Like worry or loss of sleep or guilt.
The important thing is NOT to focus on the deficiencies you see in their abilities or routines but how the situation is having an impact on your peace of mind.
3. TELL A STORY
As human beings, we’re hardwired to connect to stories. We identify with characters in stories. We empathize. And we’re more receptive when we can connect emotionally. So do your homework so you understand what’s at stake, but share stories instead of statistics.
Maybe a the mom of a church acquaintance had a fall. Or perhaps someone you both know has had a home health aide for many months and loves it. Remember, facts build walls. Stories build trust.
4. TUNE IN TO WII-FM
Everyone’s favorite radio station is WII-FM: What’s In It For Me? When talking with your loved one, focus on what’s important to them. That means understanding their goals and desires.
For most aging seniors, independence is a given. But what else might be a priority? Home care can help in all sorts of ways, like ensuring dad joins his friends for an occasional “chat and chew.” Or it can make sure grandma doesn’t miss her weekly trip to the beauty shop. It can also reduce the likelihood of a fall that would lead to hospitalization and a short-term stay in a nursing home.
5. DON’T WAIT
The best time to talk with an aging loved one about needing help in the home was several years ago. The second best time is right now.
Even if you’re sure that your loved one needs some degree of in-home care, it may take several conversations until your loved one comes around to the idea.
CALL TODAY
At Ovation Home Care, we help adult children have these conversations all the time. We’d be happy to speak with you and talk about your family’s specific situation. We’ll even do a free in-person consultation if you’d like. Call us at 352-309-1656.
